The Lies We Were Told
From Foehood to Sisterhood
by
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I have often wondered why women seem conditioned to naturally distrust each other. We were told by society and perhaps by personal experience that:
1. Women can’t offer genuine support
2. Women can’t be true friends to one another outside of a clique
3. Jealousy is rampant among women and it governs how we treat each other
4. Women can’t stand to see other women have more than they have
5. If she isn’t in the limelight being celebrated, a woman can’t and won’t applaud your success without slipping in some criticism
6. Women can’t be trusted with our significant others because, given the opportunity, they can’t pass up a chance to stab us in the back and steal them from us
7. Women are always criticizing and judging one another harshly
But why are we so critical of one another? Why do we judge one another’s looks, decisions, circumstances, families? Growing up, I could never get a clear answer. All I heard was “that’s just how women are” or “you know how women are.” These dismissive answers made me tired, upset, and very concerned. For me they represented a mantra that the world seems to accept as the female norm. But what if I told you that these were all lies and there are distinct reasons for our behaviors, would you believe me? What if I told you that the girlfriend who stabbed you in the back wasn’t really stabbing you in your back? She was really trying to trash the memory of her own devastating situation and you just happened to be in the way. Could you believe that? And what if I told you that the bullying you faced as a child (or perhaps an adult) by other females wasn’t because you were conceited, confident, or arrogant. It was actually because those little girls, now grown-ups, were acting out of a cultural system used to control their actions. They never had a chance to understand how they were really supposed to act. In fact, the unhealthy environment created by patriarchy conditioned women to act like bullies. If you knew this to be true, could you find it in your heart and mind to believe me? Could you feel sympathy for the women who helped make your life miserable from childhood to adulthood?
Well in this book I’m telling you just that! I’m telling you that the stage was set long ago for the conflict between you and other women.
This book will challenge us to see each other differently. It offers a new vision that sees women against the backdrop of a well-established but faulty system meant to control us. Patriarchy linked women’s stability to toxic systems of forced competition, hierarchy, and survival challenges. I’m proposing that instead of seeing one another as rivals, only out for revenge and punishment, we see each other as byproducts of someone else’s idea.
This book will challenge us to see the harm done to us or by us to one of our sisters as something influenced by an invisible system, and not the result of spite.
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About the Book
The number one cause of contentious relationships in society is patriarchy. It’s a system that puts men at the head of the family and defines how women relate to one another, how men and women engage, and social responsibilities for women as leaders. But it’s up to those who feel its impact most—women—to change the narrative.
In The Lies We Were Told, author Dr. Eloise M. Fulton-Taylor challenges us, as women, to see one another differently. It offers a new vision that sees women against the backdrop of a well-established but faulty system meant to control us. Patriarchy linked women’s stability to toxic systems of forced competition, hierarchy, and survival challenges. Dr. Fulton-Taylor proposes that instead of seeing one another as rivals who are only out for revenge and punishment, we see each other as by-products of someone else’s idea.
If you have ever wanted to know the root cause of disagreements between women (and girls), you will want to read this book. If you have ever thought that there has to be a reason for all of this negativity surrounding our relationships, then you need to read this book. And if you have ever thought that you were fighting a losing battle when it came to real relationships with other women (or girls), then look no further—The Lies We Were Told has the answers you have been waiting for but never realized.
About the Author
Dr. Eloise M. Fulton-Taylor has spent years wondering why nothing was said about why women and girls have been labeled as “incapable of getting along,” or why it appeared that we clashed much of the time. Her schools, her church, and her community did not provide answers or reasons for these negative interactions. She finally discovered why and realized that all our labels of incapableness were lies.