The Diary of a Deadbeat Dad
It’s not what you think …
by
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Chapter 1
The Diary
I NEVER THOUGHT I would become an author, but for me to guarantee you what you need to know in this life, I had to write this book.
My son or daughter I am not yet sure who you are but the thought of you completely melts my heart. You are certainly a miracle since my doctor told me that I might not be able to have kids because I have Varicocele.
A varicocele is an abnormal enlargement of the pampiniform venous plexus in the scrotum. This plexus of veins drain the testicles. The testicular blood vessels originate in the abdomen and course down through the inguinal canal as part of the spermatic cord on their way to the testis. Small one-way valves that prevent backflow ensures the upward flow of blood in the veins. Defective valves, or compression of the vein by a nearby structure, can cause dilatation of the testicular veins near the testis, leading to the formation of a varicocele. Varicocele is known as one of the leading causes for male infertility and can be treated by surgery or non-surgical treatments.
Your mom would always accuse me of cheating on her.
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About the Book
If getting emotional is something you don't want to happen then reading this book is something you don't want to do because an emotional rollercoaster will be a direct understatement of what you will experience as your heart rattles and the words jump from the page in this real life diary. If you think what you have to give is too much for this book so will be what is written inside. It will be too much for you!
Forbidden from book clubs and anyone under the age of 18 without permission from their parents to read, this may be your only opportunity to divulge in it. So if you are thinking about waiting to read this you are not thinking at all. It's currently not available in brick and mortar stores because it would be too expensive to plastic wrap each book to keep every ones lustful eyes off of the secrets within these pages.
If you are looking for a book with proper grammar and excellent spelling you have come to the wrong place as the Author once received an F in English class. So if you are looking to read words from a literary genius you might as well go back in time because this modern day mock up won't make the cut!
If there is anything I CAN promise you, it is that it won't be anything like you are thinking. There is only one way not to find out...that is by not reading it! So keep your money and don't get the book because I don't need your money and you don't need the book...or do you? But I will stop there because it's not my job to convince you to read this, in fact, I don't even have a job.
About the Author
Born into a lower middle class Irish and Italian family in the early 1980s in the south suburbs of Chicago I never felt qualified to write a book nor did I ever intend to. In fact I even failed English classes growing up. It all started while I was keeping a Diary to cope with my new reality of having to become a dad in the most untraditional ways. I am not sure I will ever write another book in the future or if I will ever be successful with my current book "The Diary of a Deadbeat Dad" but I certainly thought that after everything that was written I couldn't keep it to myself, so the secret is out...
P.S. I have written this book under a pen name because I like to live a humble life and I am not doing this to gain recognition or fame so if you figure out who I am or know who I am please keep this to yourself.