Enough faith to try, too little belief to accept. They placed the crown on her head, not mine. Pure radiance filled the arena while the Kingdom lay prostrate before her.
They expected me to bow reverently but only seconds before it had seemed that I would be Queen. I had been the one standing over her with my hand raised to deliver the words to capture the crown, but I could not open my mouth. My jaw was wired shut.
Surprised at my pause, her eyes had widened seeing an opening.
It was now or never. The only thing I had to do was say the thing, to speak my truth and all would be mine.
“I am…” I hesitated and the arena drew a collective gasp buzzing with disbelief. This was supposed to be the easy part. How many times had Vance demanded I repeat this phrase for this very moment? And yet I was stuck.
My chest was tightening, ears were ringing, and cheeks were tingling. Panic ascended onto my body.
Turning away I tried again.
“I am. I am.” I stuttered my breathing growing shallow.
Seeing my fear paralyze my future she stood in confidence. Everything was slipping away. This was exactly how I froze as a child when Vance yelled when I’d return from begging empty handed.
Turning to the arena she seized and said the thing that I was struggling to get out.
“My Kingdom,” her voice rang clear. “I am Queen. I see it.” They rose to their feet relishing the proclamation of their new ruler.
Slumping to the ground I placed my head in my hands in humiliation. Whatever pleasure there could have been in my life I had sacrificed with the crown in mind. I had thought it was a worthy exchange because I would one day wear the crown.
Her first act was to swiftly behead me as a show of ceremonial strength. There is no runner up for the title of Queen. Her soldiers advanced but I evaded them narrowly escaping with my life.
Ours is not a society that believes in second chances or grace. Tranquil polarities are woven within our way of life mostly hinging on the word “or.” Things are Black or white. You are a winner or loser. That said, we are a just Kingdom because we are against all forms of nepotism. We believe in the forthrightness of meritocracy. Hence our Queen is crowned through a battle of wits rather than birth because without work we are nothing.
Work hard and things will turn out right. Do what is right and life will reward you with more work. More work leads to more success. It is unending effort that makes the impossible plausible. However unlikely, you can rise from the gutter of the Poors to the arena of the Nobles and almost be Queen as I had. Our Kingdom was built on these standards.
Basically there are three things to know about what it means to be Queen:
Queen is the life force.
Queen reigns supreme.
Queen never fails.
This last part is the essential requirement. You see I had just failed. My failure to audibly declare myself the Queen disqualified me from becoming ruler despite being more deserving.
If I’m honest, Queen never fails because we do not allow it. Our monarch is infallible until she stops achieving. At the revelation of her lack of production we see her for what she has become: irrelevant.
When this happens, we receive the message to gather within the arena where she stands pitifully.
Three months ago the previous Queen’s reign ended this way. Per usual everyone got the memo except for her:
“Sadly, our Beloved the Queen is no longer producing. Dethroning is to commence in 48 hours in the arena.”
The Dethroning began with the call of one lone voice amidst the swell of bodies “Trash!” He yelled and all gathered closer together.
“Trash! Trash! Trash! Trash!” The chants grew louder in one accord as the Kingdom circled with outstretched hands.
The Nobles, closest to the stage, were the first to touch the hem of her garments attempting to rent them to pieces. Furiously the Poors overtook the barricade separating them from the Nobles to get to her. Swarming we formed one hand wrapping around her throat squeezing until the last breath.
I too pushed to smother the previous Queen with my fellow Poors from the edge of the arena. Can’t say that I would have done any different even knowing that I would have to escape the same mob as a loser months later