An Engineer’s Guide to Happiness:

THE GOAL OR OBJECTIVE OF THIS BOOK IS TO HAVE YOUR LIFE EXCEED MY LIFE IN TERMS OF HAPPINESS. I could not be more sincere. Just as a parent wants their child to be happier, to have a better life than they did, that is my desire for you. Imagine how great a world would be if we could objectively have each generation happier than the prior generation. Wow, what a thought. What a goal to achieve. As a person of science I know of no better way to start that effort than at the beginning. So let’s begin. Think of this book as an investment. Using relatable fundamental analogies to convey a point-of-view is my preferred methodology. In this first instance I will compare knowledge to money and hence the investment. Financial experts will tell you that time is your best friend when it comes to making your money work for you. Think of knowledge in the same manner. The sooner you gain knowledge the more you’ll benefit in life from that education. One of the critical elements of happiness is to always continue to seek knowledge throughout your life even if just through new experiences. A loving parent should always want their children to be happier than themselves. Notice that I did not say “richer” than themselves because, as I stated earlier, happiness is not based on the amount of money you have. Your core of support may not be “people” but may be just one person. But wow, what an amazing person he or she is. You will learn that a critical element for a fabulous life is to share it with that person or those people that are your core of support. Your core of support does not care about the value of your car, the value of your home, the designer of your purse or the type of smart phone you own. They care only about your happiness. Your core of support is never jealous of you or envious of you. Could you imagine your mom or dad being jealous of your success? So if you win the lottery it is a person in your core of support that you absolutely know will be happy for you without any expectation of financial gain for themselves. That is the person you call when you’ve learned you’ve won. That is also the person you would call when you feel in pain. The core of support cares deeply about you. Have you ever asked yourself this simple yet critical and objective question about someone; does this person really care more about my happiness than their own? And I mean literally. Ask the question out loud when you’re alone.
There is a factual statement that you don’t know what you don’t know. And some of the worst characters you’ll meet in life are those who think they know it all. The critical elements are in fact very logical in hindsight once you know all the elements, but complex to perform correctly. That is why it takes an entire book to convey all the critical elements. I know you wish you could just read a short list to understand the critical elements. And in fact I wish I could present them that way. It would save me the difficult effort of writing this book. Let me present one such analysis with a simple statement that most of us feel protected at home. There is a balance between protection and isolation. Too much isolation is a bad thing. Being safe and protected is in-general a good thing. But not if that protection does not allow you to understand the world around you. You cannot live in a bubble and get the most out of life. Generally speaking, a person who does not venture out beyond his or her protections, who does not take risk, will not have the best life. You do not start truly experiencing life until you leave home wherein you are forced to make decisions about your own life. You have to figure it out on your own. And that is why I had to leave home and get out of school before I could begin to understand the world we live in and discover all those elements that make up the critical elements. It also took time to understand what elements are more critical than others.
The question I ask those of us who are adults that drive; did you get more instruction in how to drive and operate a car than you did regarding relationships? Has anyone sat you down and spoken to you for hours regarding what are the critical elements for a happy life? Did you get more instructions regarding how to drive and operate a car than you did in decision-making skills and discussion on how to be genuinely happy in life? As an example, exactly what specific instructions were you given about what to expect in your first relationship? Your parents knew that you inherently were going to have a first love or first crush. Did they tell you in advance about what you were going to feel? Did they tell you when it would likely happen? Did they tell you what would likely happen? Did they prepare you for when it failed? Did they tell you that failing was not a bad thing? Did they teach you that failing is in fact possibly a good thing that you need not be afraid of and in fact you can plan for failure to learn the most?