Thoughts on the Pot
A Kaleidoscopic Cornucopia of Jokes, Observations, and Advice
by
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I asked my loving wife Sally if I was the only one she’d been with. She said, “Yes Pat, all the others were nines and tens.”
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What did the Grateful Dead fan say when he ran out of weed? Man, this music sucks!
I used to have a goldfish who could breakdance on carpet, but only for 20 seconds, and only once.
Surround yourself with people who have issues. Because people who have issues always have alcohol.
It’s been over a year since I joined my gym and not one damn thing has changed. I have a good mind to go down there to see what’s going on.
Annoyed, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” How was I to know she meant my debit card?
It's a sad commentary on modern society that an entire loving family can be torn apart by such a simple thing as a pack of wild dogs.
I’ve gotten pretty good at ventriloquism. Today, I totally freaked out my proctologist.
Sometimes I get love sick. That’s what I call it. My doctor calls it chlamydia.
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About the Book
When you’ve spent a lifetime narrating television shows, doing voice work on commercials, and navigating the music business, you hear some jokes.
Pat Duke, the beloved narrator of the smash hit Swamp People on The History Channel, shares a hysterical and thought-provoking collection of punchlines, one-line zingers, observations, and advice on a variety of topics.
Nothing is off limits: You’ll enjoy laugh-out-loud moments about work, retirement, marriage, divorce, drinking, drugs, religion, obesity, vegans, kids, parents, life, death, sleep, farts, and poop. Mostly these are jokes, but the author sprinkles in sage advice as well as stories about the flat-out weird.
The book includes three “groaners,” six Golden Oldies, and a tendency to channel Rodney Dangerfield. The author doesn’t know where that comes from. Is it politically correct? No. Is it misogynistic. No. (Well, maybe a little.) Honestly, the author loves women. And women? Why are you reading this? Stop.
Everyone else, pull up a throne, sit for a while, and laugh your butt off with Thoughts on the Pot.
About the Author
Pat Duke has done voice work on more than ten thousand commercials. He also has narrated television shows, including the smash hit Swamp People on The History Channel. He has worn several other hats in the entertainment business, including drummer, singer, Emmy award winning composer, arranger, producer, publisher, artist promoter for a major record label, and movie producer.