ABCs for Dementia Caregivers
A handbook for caregivers
by
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The 21st century has brought many advances in medical technology. Many diseases from our youth that were inoperable, with no hope or treatment are now cured, treated, or reduced. Lifetimes have been extended 10, 20 or 30 years. Within the span of a generation, the death of someone who was close to us was the biggest loss one could experience. Today, the greatest loss may be when the people closest to us do not die but linger on. This is not a “How to Manual,” neither is it a medical reference book, nor a book of legal advice. However, the stories and suggestions should help the patient and the caregiver. It is what the authors found worked for them. For the same reason every person and every relationship is different, everyone who deals with these situations will have different things to deal with. To that end, you will not find long passages of philosophy, with beautifully polished sentences. This is a much more practical book, with short paragraphs, concise chapters and (we hope) useful suggestions for events that you may encounter. This is because both of the authors know that there is no single solution for every situation.
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About the Book
Anyone associated with dementia knows the pain and agony of watching (and trying to help) someone they love leave them a bit at a time. Th e loved one goes from the Adult stage to the Belligerent stage to the Care needing stage. Nothing is right, nothing is good enough and the person being cared for is not grateful for all the eff ort. At times, caregiving for a dementia patient feels like a black hole with no end in sight. In the ABC for Dementia Caregivers, the authors recount what they learned, inch by painful inch. Hopefully this book can offer you suggestions that may help you care for your beloved. Th e book is filled with the stories of spouses and close friends who all succumbed to dementia. Some of the stories are painful, some are humorous. All are intended to give you the emotional lift that will help you through one more difficult day. Patrice Gapen’s best friend and Matron of Honor at her wedding began imagining things, awful things: abuse, hitmen chasing her, other guys kidnapping her. Her husband, Michael Hand, (the coauthor) knew she was safe at home, as he was with her. At the same time, Ms. Gapen’s husband had a major stroke resulting in an emergency helicopter transport to a larger city. All this brought her many questions. Will he survive? What will his survival look like? Who should she call? What kind of funeral does he want? Her mind was spinning faster and faster and she drove faster and faster. Her husband survived but was totally paralyzed on one side. Mr. Hand’s wife continued to hallucinate, requiring more and more care. Th us, the authors began the long trek of doctor’s appointments, pharmacy trips, physical therapy appointments and a series of diagnoses. During all this, they continued working, juggling assignments, dealing with cranky coworkers and unhappy bosses when they were gone yet again.
About the Author
Patrice Gapen was a college instructor of computer science for most of her life, writing fourteen textbooks with her co-authors. Her greatest joy in life was and is teaching. She has taught people to program computers and fl y airplanes and is a parent and grandmother. For most of his life, Michael Hand was an engineer specializing in the construction of dams and reservoirs. He cared for his wife during her battle with dementia while juggling the duties of an engineer for four long years.