iLove

Finally, the tone of the movie had changed and the two characters had met under a waterfall in secret, the wind began to blow turquoise wisps about the two who were swirling in the confusion of tribal and cultural misunderstandings and love. They kiss in a whirlwind of Disney magic, and Jim and I closed our eyes and mirrored Pocahontas and John Smith perfectly, it was as if we were kissing under that waterfall. There was nothing awkward or weird about kissing a boy especially this one. I knew he was kind and he meant it and also that he loved me. Our friends all smirked in unison and asked a plethora of embarrassing questions as soon as the movie was over. “How did it feel?” “Was his tongue slimy?” “Did it smell funny?” “How did you know what to do?” “Are you going to do it again?” We were the first to kiss out of the bunch. We were applauded and ridiculed all in one. I was completely satisfied. So were all of our friends. At home however, the volatility between my parents and I was growing. My father could no longer ignore that fact that I was suffering in a major way not being with my mom, it was deeply affecting his and mine relationship and the one I wanted so badly with my mother. For the remainder of that summer I was focused on finding my way to back to my mom in California. I began Fifth grade that year at the same school, and still with Jim. My father had agreed to let me visit my mother unsupervised and without my little brother, thanksgiving couldn’t come quick enough. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom all about Jim and how close we had been for the past two years. She helped me make my first ever phone call to him. First ever, because my dad had no idea I had a boyfriend. There was no way I could let that secret be known. After talking much about him, she asked if I missed him and would I like to call him? I had his number memorized and he had mine memorized, in case of emergencies. I was nervous, but I agreed. If she called him with me, I felt like I could do it. I was on the telephone in the kitchen with the cord that was attached to the wall so I couldn't move. She was on the other phone, the cordless one. She was listening and there to guide me in my first stressful moment in love. Being with my mother was completely different than being with my father. He was rough with me and expected so much from me, and she catered to my emotional, and physical needs.