Stage 4
Surviving Cancer & the Grief That Comes With It
by
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If You Want me to Breathe in This Wreckage. . . What Saved Me If you want me to breathe in this wreckage, I need to be alone. I need to be able to scream into the void instead of a pillow and let the anger roll off my tongue without consequence. I need to no longer stew in my anger, but let it flow. Anger, I am angry that I got sick, I am angry I was not diagnosed sooner, I’m angry that I lost my hair, I’m angry that I lost the weight to gain it back and more, I’m angry that cancer chose me. If you want me to breath in this wreckage I need to cry. I need to be free to let the tears flow and stain my cheeks, shirt, until they fall to the Earth. I need to fill an ocean with the sadness I feel within on all that was taken from me and all that was lost. If you want me to breath in this wreckage, I need to be free. I need to be a stranger in another city, another country, another world. I need to not be known, blend right in and experience something new, something that makes me forget who I am. I want to be so blissful that I forget all that I have been through.
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About the Book
Diagnosed with cancer at age twenty-six threw all the life plans Emily had made out the window. In between attempting to fight Hodgkin's lymphoma and working, full-time Emily discovered she was in a deep state of grief. She realized in the middle of it all she had lost herself and would need to not only fight the cancer, but her mind in order to survive.
About the Author
Emily Sterns is a survivor of stage four Hodgkin's Lymphoma and the grief that came with having cancer. She is also a teacher. She is a SUNY Geneseo Graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in English Literature and Sociology. She is also a Binghamton University graduate with a master's degree in education. She lives in her hometown in Upstate New York.