The Teenage Guide to Success

I was at rock bottom. There were days I was so deeply depressed I couldn’t drag myself out of bed.

My parents were going through a very nasty divorce, and it was a tough, stressful time for all of us. None of my friends were speaking to me. I couldn’t blame them. In my resentment toward the world, I’d turned everyone away and resorted to addictive habits to cope with feelings that were hard to understand. One habit was binge eating; I ate excessively day after day for months, piling on sixty pounds, and furthering the roots of depression seeded deep in my mind.

On top of that, I saw myself as a loser who failed at everything. I felt useless. What’s the point, I thought. So, I shut down and stopped trying. In Proverbs 19:15 slothfulness is shown to mean laziness, sluggishness, or indolence—the avoidance of activity or exertion. The slothful person not only doesn’t want to work but also avoids it and may go out of their way to avoid it. That was me.

It was a negative mindset that could easily have turned quite ugly. And I was just fourteen years old.

I found the solution through insights provided by authoritative online sources and family figures who were still willing to help. The plan? In the first place, get rid of the excess weight. And the best way to motivate myself to do that? Remove distractions that might trigger impulsive indulgence such as video games, food, social media, and faulty friendships. I avoided them and instead made it a priority to exercise every day and to eat less than two thousand calories a day.

I went for it, but it didn’t stop me whining every step of the way for the first couple of weeks. I willed myself to exercise even though part of me still thought it would lead to a dead end like all my other endeavors. But when I began to see the fruits of my labor, my attitude changed. Getting through one disciplined act was the hardest part of the journey, but once I accomplished it, I was unstoppable.

I lost sixty pounds in five months and became so motivated that I created my own routines and strategies to become as fit as possible. I began to run every morning at six o’clock, even in freezing rain. I worked out at the gym every day. I counted calories. I was chasing the goal of being in complete and total control of my life.

My attitude: life is like riding a dragon. If you let the dragon out of your control, it will do what it wants, breathing fire and swooping through the sky while trying to shake you off its back. You must take charge and tame the dragon, like Daenerys Targaryen in A Game of Thrones.

Your life is a big, powerful beast that’s very hard to control. But when you tame it, everything becomes so much easier. It didn’t happen right away for me. I had a few false starts, wanting to change, but not following through. It was an emotional rollercoaster and one of the biggest learning experiences was coming to realize the length to which I went to excuse my actions (or lack of actions.) It turns out that making plans and promises on emotional impulses—especially when you’re depressed all the time—isn’t a smart move!

The bottom line is that my life was a sedentary quagmire, and I got tired of it. Changing my mindset to disregard those emotional impulses is eventually what led to tangible results.

After I had seen true success for the first time in my life, I began to build on it, not wanting to lose the momentum. I realized that to lose that weight and adopt a change in attitude had, in the first place, required an acknowledgment of my issues and a genuine willingness to change. Then, as part of the crusade to better myself, discipline and perseverance were vital. All of this is easy to say, and not so easy to do—especially with the distractions of today’s environment.

Looking back, my negative attitude prior to my change pushed people away. I was constantly spiteful and critical of others. I’d find someone’s insecurities and exploit them, and I was outspoken about anything or anybody that irritated me. I cut everybody off because they weren’t talking to me anyway. I not only felt they were a distraction in my life but also was fearful of antagonizing them so much that it would permanently sever relationships. I was inconsistent and that led me to absolutely hate inconsistency in other people.

Within a year, though, people noticed a change in me beyond the dramatic weight loss. I was more confident, and more pleasant to be around. I reconnected with old friends, and they told me that I was completely different. “You were angry all the time. Argumentative. You hated everything. You were so negative. Nobody wanted to be around you. But now you seem a lot happier.”

Those reactions brought home to me how much I had changed. I had set my mind to do something and been successful. I had set a goal and worked step-by-step to achieve it. It had required discipline and perseverance, an indomitable force of will, and building a habit until it became second nature.

Knowing just how hard it was to change, I realized that not many people could have shared a similar experience. As a result of this epiphany, I decided the least I could do was share my understanding of what led to my success with my peers. But, as a teenager with limited life experience, it was obvious I didn’t have all the credentials and know-how to put together a decisive action plan. First, I asked successful family friends for their input and advice. That’s when it occurred to me that other successful people in this world would be willing to share their experiences and wisdom. So I made it my mission to find highly accomplished individuals who had “been there, done that” and would be happy to contribute to a book written by a teenager for teenagers.

Through hours of emails and borderline harassment I pursued and interviewed nineteen incredible role models who have pushed through obstacles of their own to realize their dreams.

They come from a wide range of life experiences, activities, and careers including millionaires and billionaires, world champions, and creative geniuses. There are people who have made a name for themselves in their respective fields of endeavor—inventors, entrepreneurs, corporate executives, military leaders, sports stars, social media, and entertainment celebrities. It is an excellent representation of success stories across the board. I also researched other renowned individuals to derive lessons from their struggles and triumphs.

I’ve crystallized it all into a plan for teenagers to follow, a way to construct a mindset for winning in all aspects of life. I call it The TICK TOCK Formula. First, because such a name is a reminder that the clock is ticking and that we shouldn’t waste time before making impactful life changes. Second, because it’s a useful acronym, as well as a play on the phenomenon that is TikTok, to remember the key elements in this formula. TikTok, as I will discuss, is a pernicious influence that dominates the lives of many young people.

The TICK TOCK acronym stands for:

T - Taming Social Media

I - Inspiring Hard Work

C - Choosing a Mentor

K - Knowing Your Struggles

T - Treasure Beyond Money

O - Owning Your Passion

C - Cultivating Relationships

K - Knowledge Expansion

I will cover these subjects chapter-by-chapter