Blow Your Nose

Recently I fostered two puppies from the Humane Society. They are adorable. And loud. And needy. And I have realized something. Their urge for constant affection and attention is so strong that it must be managed. There are times when I have fed them, taken them out, played with them and finally put them back in the playpen for a nap only to be thanked by a cacophony of wails and crying fits. It’s fascinating. Is this how the universe feels? I look at them and think, “You’re fine. Can you not just “be”? Just be grateful to have your brother and to be in a warm cozy bed with a blanket and toys and lots of love? Can you stop for five seconds and just relish that? Without screaming in fear that I might leave you and never return? This concept of acceptance is one the monks have perfected that most of us humans have not. When the pups stop the incessant howling and sit sweetly, grateful to just be in the moment, I am drawn to them and want to lavish them with play and love. Perhaps the universe feels the same? Perhaps it (or our family, friends, employer) cringes when we are unnecessarily whiny and smiles when we show gratitude and joy, despite uncertain circumstances? As I leave to go to work and they cry, I wonder what they are thinking. Are they like humans? Are their little minds looping on why I’m so mean and how could I abandon them and are they not worthy or valued? When the fact is, it’s not even about them! I just need to go to work! They simply need to learn how to self-soothe. No one is responsible for their feelings as I leave for work except them. It’s their responsibility to go find their cozy bed and take a nap, or go find one of their many chew toys and have some fun or frankly just choose to be calm and happy until I get home. How many times do some people get stuck in this same trap? Agonizing over someone else’s lack of attention or affection when it’s not even about them? Feeling unworthy or unloved when it’s not even warranted? How much energy do we, like the puppies, waste on this when we could just be in the moment and chill? Here’s how this works: Feelings come from the heart. They are always true. They simply are what they are. Thoughts come from the brain. They are the meaning we assign to a feeling, based on our prior conditioning, genetics, environment, and level of emotional maturity. The question to ask yourself is this. Does my thought serve me? Not whether it is true or false, but does it serve me? If the thought does not serve you, can you reframe it in a way that does serve you?