Rue Finds Purr-a Vida

I’ve chased away two roommates that complained of me being “mischievous” and for “destroying” their belongings. In my defense they’re not my real mom, so I felt I never had to answer to them. I don’t see what the big deal is. A little hair and claw marks gave their awful furniture a little character. It was for the best that they left. They always sabotaged my fun and sprayed me with water whenever I did something they didn’t approve of. Nevertheless, Mom still loves me, even though I’m a rascal. She’s truly amazing. She feeds me well, which consists of organic chicken with some sort of savory gravy and feeds me whenever I want, even if it is in the middle of the night. She plays with me every day. She gives me treats for behaving, which is only when I need a treat. Even though she absolutely loves me, she takes a break from me every couple of months to go on some sort of “vacation”, which I can’t blame her. I never know where she goes on her vacations. I’m pretty sure it is a place called Costa Rica she is always talking about. It must be far away from here because she is always gone for seven days. I know because I count the days with claw marks on her favorite leather chair. One claw mark for each day she is gone. The highest I’ve ever gotten is ten. Mom somehow magically gets rid of them each time she returns from her trip. I still haven’t figured out how. Mom has a thing for traveling. I wish she would take me with her. I can’t blame her, though. Sometimes we both need a break from each other. She gets a little too dependent on my company and like all cats, I love my independence. I guess that’s where I get my travel bug. If I were ever allowed to travel. Ugh! Mom never lets me out of the house. She found me in the middle of the road when I was a kitten, and she is very overprotective. I think she is scared I won’t come back, and I’m all she has right now. I kind of feel sorry for her. She needs a friend to keep her occupied so I can escape and travel outside whenever I wish. I dream of adventures outside of this house. My heart skips a beat when I hear birds chirping and see foxes playing in the dark at night through the windows. I belong with them. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I need to hear all the scary sounds of the world. I need to smell all the wonderful smells of the world. I would do anything to get out of this house. Unfortunately, I’m locked in here 24/7 like a prisoner. So, I howl. I howl every day and night like a wolf. It’s got to wear her down soon. There is no way she can deal with this day after day. Night after night. Maybe she will have heard all she can handle soon and just open the door and kick me out for a night. And so, I wait. And I howl. Not much impresses me these days. I have very little patience for most things around me. I’m always in a hurry to find the next best thing in life. Like, when is my next meal? When am I going to get the chance to escape again? When am I going to get my claws on those delightful looking things with wings that my mom calls birds? When am I going to truly find happiness in life? When will I be free to travel about as I please? The tiny bit of patience I do possess, is for Mom. She is the only human I tolerate. She tries her best and I try to respect that. She’s a great mom. If only she truly understood me. If only she understood my yearning to be outside and journey on adventures. I imagine a world beyond these walls full of magnificent surprises. I imagine a world full of fluffy things that move around waiting for me to pounce on and devour. If I’m lucky, I can slip out for an adventure next time she opens the door. I just need to be a bit quicker, like The Flash. I’m a little chunky around the middle, so I don’t ever get very far before she catches me. And she always catches me. It’s her fault, really. All that delicious organic chicken and sweet canned gravy she makes me twice a day keeping me plump. Today she seems oddly busy for a Saturday. Normally she is curled up on the couch watching something called Golden Girls. If I have to watch that show one more time, I’m going to vomit up a hair ball. For some reason the television isn’t on today. Interesting. She pulls a suitcase out of her closet. Oh, no. Not the suitcase. This means she is going on one of her vacations. It also means I’m stuck in here for days with Betty or whatever her name is while Mom travels around the outside world without me. Betty always comes over and tries to make me play with the feather stick. She always takes a lot of pictures, which I hate. I guess to let Mom know I’m not dead. I can’t deal with another week of Debbie. Betty. Whoever. Oh, no. It may be even worse than Betty. She will send me to that awful kennel she thinks I love. If she leaves me or takes me to the kennel, I will have zero chance of escaping for a while. I push my claws into the carpet and rip small pieces up to show my frustration. This doesn’t seem to bother her. Ugh. I see something different that she pulls out from the closet. I’ve never seen this before. It looks like a soft screened-in porch. Hmm. I find it odd. I make sure to keep my eye on this death trap. Never trust a bag that looks like something you could fit in. I’ve learned that the hard way. I have several awful names for them. The Vet Catcher. Box-of-Doom. Death Vessel 2000.