The Pursuit of Human Purpose

I experienced a profound moment of awareness about our greater human purpose. I believed in the existence of God but knew nothing about him and did not believe that others did either. It was obvious that none of us could see or hear him, making God too pure, sacred, and unattainable for me. I was already aware of poverty and suffering, as well as the understanding of death that I witnessed in the truck accident with the little girl. I questioned the purpose of my existence in this world, and it made no sense whatsoever to live for a short period of time just to die in the end. It was like a sad story with a painful closure. I knew that something or someone invisible gave me a temporary life that required a physical vehicle to circulate, but for what? What is there for me to be here? If God created us, why separate us from him? If I had been given the chance to choose and live a human life, instead of just ending up here, I would have said a resounding no because I did not see the point. My awareness of already existing in a human body without being asked made me very angry; it felt as if my right to choose was violated. Then I reasoned that maybe having a body made me not remember it.
I never talked to anyone about my thoughts because I knew that no one knew the answer, nor did I want others to know my thoughts and question them, especially adults. I decided to live my life without thinking too far ahead because that only meant shortening the years of my parents’ lives. I came to a conscious conclusion at that moment: I would set goals only for the near future. That meant visualizing the thought, creating the details, and developing the certainty of seeing it done. I trusted the inner me that felt very close and natural and grew convinced of my next goal being already manifested. In this way, the future was already taken care of, and I could enjoy every present moment with my parents and live my life. Little did I know that the seed had been planted.