Pulse Of Desire

I follow Elliot into the exam room and sit up on the examination table. I think Elliot forgot about me having to dress into a gown but I’d rather not remind him.
Adam, who is wearing blue scrubs and a stethoscope around his neck, walks into the exam room.
He smirks at me. “I’m assuming you know why you’re here.”
He opens the file that Elliot wrote my height and weight in and raises his eyebrows in surprise once he sees it.
I sigh. “Unfortunately,” My voice comes off shaky.
I hope he can’t tell that my legs are trembling. I inhale as softly as possible so that it’s not noticeable that I’m trying to calm myself down. ‘Act cool’ I remind myself. To be honest I don’t think I’m in the mood to put him on the spot for ghosting me anymore. There’s still time for that.
He squirts hand sanitizer onto his hands and rubs them together vigorously which makes me more nervous for some reason.
We make eye contact and my emotions take over forcing me to smile as my cheeks get hotter. I look away as fast as I can and attempt to keep the corners of my mouth down before making a bigger fool of myself.
Adam puts the stethoscope ear tips in his ears and places the chestpiece under my shirt.
The stethoscope feels cold on my chest and so do his finger tips. My heart picks up the pace as Adam moves the bell around my chest. He places his hand on my shoulder as he gets closer to me.
“Just relax, I’m only listening to your heart,” he says softly with his dreamy voice.
He places the chestpiece on my back under my shirt.
“Nice deep breath in for me.”
I do as he says breathing in and out, each breath shakier than the last. I don’t know what's more nerve wrecking. The fact that his hand is under my shirt traveling through my chest and back, which is attractive. Or the fact that I have feelings for him. I can’t believe I had the audacity to think that the last physical was awkward when this one makes me feel all types of nervous. The type that especially invites butterflies to take over my entire stomach.
He looks at me and smiles as he takes the stethoscope out of his ears. “Your heart is beating really fast.”
I roll my eyes at him. He obviously said that because he is enjoying how nervous I am right now. It's embarrassing honestly but rather than acting as degraded as I feel, I try to hide the nervousness. Igotta admit that so far I’m not doing such a great job at not revealing my anxiety.
Adam shines a light in my nostrils and I can’t even express just how self conscious I felt as he did that. If I wasn’t attracted to him I probably wouldn’t care what he thinks when he checks me in these kinds of areas.
Adam swiftly grabs a tongue depressor while still holding the light with his other hand. My mouth dries out until there’s no trace of saliva on my tongue at all. Oh crap, here we go again. I’m going to hate this.
“I’m assuming you won’t make a scene like the last time, right?”
I want to avoid embarrassing myself so I need to act tough. The cooler I act, the less suspicious he will be about me feeling shy.
“No, I'll do whatever needs to be done,” I say as confidently as I can.
“Good to hear. Now open wide and say aaa.”
I stick my tongue out closing my eyes as he places the tongue depressor as far on my tongue as possible. He presses hard on my tongue, awakening my gag reflex, obviously on purpose. Suddenly my throat spasms and I start gagging with my tongue still sticking out. He places the trash can under my chin in case I puke as he looks like he’s holding in the biggest laugh ever. I push the trash can away and chug the cup of water that Elliot brings in for me.
Adam is mockingly smiling at me since making fun of me seems like such amusement for him.
“Are you good now?” Elliot asks with his voice infilled with concern. Wow at least someone cares. Unlike Adam who I don’t recognize at all right now.
“What the hell is wrong with you Adam. First of all, tongue depressors are used for children! Not adults. Second of all, you’re not being serious at all which is really concerning,” I yell.
Adam nods his head to Elliot who takes that as a cue to leave the room. Great, now I’m alone with someone who is clearly enjoying making fun of my fears. He’s a jerk if anyone asks me.
“Look, it’s simple. If you're gonna act like a child then I’ll treat you like one.”
“A child? Wow you’re really not ready for the medical field if you’re gonna criticize me like that.
And honestly you seem childish for making fun of me,” I reproach.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” he says sternly. “Now lay down on your back and lift up your shirt.”
Suddenly my self respect tugs at me as a reminder that I still have the choice to talk back which I wouldn’t regret for even a second.
“I don’t like that idea. I won’t be lifting up my shirt.”
Adam crosses his arms. “Oh really? Then leave. But just know you won’t ever hear from me again.”
I get silent. His words really sink in every second that passes. He doesn’t mean what he just said to me. Does he? This time I’m staring at him in shock like what he said paralyzed my motive for leaving.
“That’s what I thought,” he says scornfully.

I follow Elliot into the exam room and sit up on the examination table. I think Elliot forgot about me having to dress into a gown but I’d rather not remind him.
Adam, who is wearing blue scrubs and a stethoscope around his neck, walks into the exam room.
He smirks at me. “I’m assuming you know why you’re here.”
He opens the file that Elliot wrote my height and weight in and raises his eyebrows in surprise once he sees it.
I sigh. “Unfortunately,” My voice comes off shaky.
I hope he can’t tell that my legs are trembling. I inhale as softly as possible so that it’s not noticeable that I’m trying to calm myself down. ‘Act cool’ I remind myself. To be honest I don’t think I’m in the mood to put him on the spot for ghosting me anymore. There’s still time for that.
He squirts hand sanitizer onto his hands and rubs them together vigorously which makes me more nervous for some reason.
We make eye contact and my emotions take over forcing me to smile as my cheeks get hotter. I look away as fast as I can and attempt to keep the corners of my mouth down before making a bigger fool of myself.
Adam puts the stethoscope ear tips in his ears and places the chestpiece under my shirt.
The stethoscope feels cold on my chest and so do his finger tips. My heart picks up the pace as Adam moves the bell around my chest. He places his hand on my shoulder as he gets closer to me.
“Just relax, I’m only listening to your heart,” he says softly with his dreamy voice.
He places the chestpiece on my back under my shirt.
“Nice deep breath in for me.”
I do as he says breathing in and out, each breath shakier than the last. I don’t know what's more nerve wrecking. The fact that his hand is under my shirt traveling through my chest and back, which is attractive. Or the fact that I have feelings for him. I can’t believe I had the audacity to think that the last physical was awkward when this one makes me feel all types of nervous. The type that especially invites butterflies to take over my entire stomach.
He looks at me and smiles as he takes the stethoscope out of his ears. “Your heart is beating really fast.”
I roll my eyes at him. He obviously said that because he is enjoying how nervous I am right now. It's embarrassing honestly but rather than acting as degraded as I feel, I try to hide the nervousness. Igotta admit that so far I’m not doing such a great job at not revealing my anxiety.