Loving Myself Unbroken

Dear Healers, I hope as you read this book that you find some healing, wisdom, and freedom. Experiencing toxic love is one of the hardest journeys that I have ever been on. I, initially, started to write my poetry book, as form of therapy for myself. This was in a time, when I was still not ready to speak about the things that I had gone through, within toxic connections. Before I knew it, I had started to meet other survivors that had walked a similar journey to me, and we were able to offer healing to each other. Through shared experiences, we started to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves. All of us shared one common personality trait, high levels of empathy. This book is comprised of my own journey, but, it is also inspired by other survivors’ stories too. I want to be the voice of the voiceless, and by releasing this book, I hope that it raises awareness of what domestic abuse is, the impact on families, and the healing journey following it. Many experience healing, in various different ways. Having what I can only summarise as a spiritual awakening, was how I broke free from the toxic cycle that I was in. I started to look at my inner child, in the hopes that I could make peace with an array of personality traits that I had developed to keep myself safe, within the toxic relationships I had with certain family members, friends, and past lovers. Once I was awakened, I honestly felt like I had been asleep my whole life, and followed a pre-set narrative that was created for me, full of conditioned responses. Following my awakening, I started to take control of my own life, developing a new sense of self, and emotional intelligence, which made me accountable for the part that I had also played in my own suffering. It was so important for me to learn what attracted me to perpetrators, as I was starting to see a pattern of behaviour within myself. I wanted to understand why I constantly wanted to fix, and heal others, even if it meant that my own soul was breaking in that process. Learning to love myself, and setting boundaries, gave me the freedom that I required to rise again, following abuse. Changing a habit of a lifetime, can sometimes be a scary concept. However, when it comes to love, looking introspectively, at oneself, is fundamental when breaking the cycle in toxic connections. During your healing journey, you may experience many up’s and down’s; however, every day that you get up to proactively face your traumas and triggers, is another step closer to freedom, making peace with your story, and finding real love. It will take some time, there is a lot to work through, please be patient with yourself. Give yourself a lot of compassion, and grace, within this journey. You need to give yourself the same level of compassion that you would show anyone else, when you are helping them to navigate through difficult times in their life. Invest in yourself! Once you start doing the inner work, and learn to truly love, value, respect and appreciate yourself, things will slowly begin to fall into alignment for you. Hopefully, this will create space for you to develop a deeper understanding, not only for yourself, but those around you. Eventually, this enables you to build incredibly intimate relationships with others. Remember that you can block your own blessings, when you are not ready to face yourself. We are the creators of our own destiny, and we most certainly get a choice in where our journey takes us. Everything becomes clearer, as you enter a more conscious state of mind. I promise you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, as cliché as that sounds. Life is just getting started, and I hope that I can help you along that journey. Find your voice, you are so worthy of it! Love Sarah